There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone



051115

I'm not home.

I came back, but I'm not home. And I really want to be home

011115



I could tell you how i feel in a million different ways, but it doesn't seem to matter, so I'm not going to..

You just jump.

"Look, there's no such thing as moving too fast. You just jump in and either lucks on your side or it ain't."

Finding things that make you happy should'n be so hard.

Something happens at around 92 miles an hour - thunder-headers drown out all sound, engine vibrations travels at a heart's rate, field of vision funnels into the immediate and suddenly you're not on the road, you're in it. A part of it. Traffic, scenery, cops - just cardboard cutouts blowing over as you past. Sometimes I forget the rush of that. That's why I love these long runs. All your problems, all the noise, gone. Nothing else to worry about except what's right in front of you. Maybe that's the lesson for me today, to hold on to these simple moments. Appreciate them a little more - there's not many of them left. I don't ever want that for you. Finding things that make you happy shouldn't be so hard. I know you'll face pain, suffering, hard choices, but you can't let the weight of it choke the joy out of your life. No matter what, you have to find the things that love you. Run to them. There's an old saying, 'That what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' I don't believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things - your family, your friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that'll keep you whole. Those are the things to hold on to when you're broken.

I never knew

I've been trying to find some kind of balance...
But every time I think maybe I'm heading in the right direction. I end up in a place I never even knew could feel this bad. What did I do?

I am on my way home



Fake

People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well, that's my burden, I guess.

- Dexter Morgan

Dexter

I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post-apocalypse or plague... Whatever. No-one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be... freeing. - Dexter Morgan

Always



Les misérables

"You who suffer because you love, love still more. To die of love, is to live by it."
- Victor Hugo, Les misérables


Happiness

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999,999 miles

"Jenna asks us if we'd take a drive with her, so we all get in the car, our hearts thudding in off beat unison and as we drive, silence settles in. I didn't imagine it would end like this, I didn't imagine it ending at all, but if they were going to tell me about the divorce, what a way to do it. In the back seat, I think about how lucky we were to have had this family, their 20 years of marriage, my 15 with them. I don't want this life to end, Jenna starts to talk. She tells me that our car, our SUV, is just 13 miles away from reaching 100,000 miles now. I wonder if this is part of the divorce speech or just part of the distraction. She tells me the reason we took this ride, is so that we could all be there to reach 100,000 miles together, as the people who matter in her life. Slowly, I come to the realization that this isn't a breakup ride, this is a stay together ride. We're in the car, and we're driving on a Tuesday night, and we are 99,987 miles in. We stop for onion rings and sundaes, keep driving. 99, 993 miles, Stevie Nicks. 99,996 Miles, Elton John. When we get to 999,999 miles we hold hands, blast Melissa Etheridge, and sing 'Lucky' at the top of our lungs. There are too many reasons that my mamas found love in each others presence. There are too many moments when we are unbreakable, and in this moment, we are one family. Constructing road as we go, burning bridges behind us, adding mileage like graceful aging. Driving in our SUV towards moonlight." - The Fosters

Fairy tales

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Awkward.

There are defining moments in every person's life. Moments where you kick ass or suck it. I was definitely sucking some serious ass. - Jenna Hamilton

remember the time

I had this memory game when I was a kid. A bunch of cards, face down, in rows. Each card has a picture. You turn one over, look at it, then turn it back over. Then you have to try and remember where its matching card was. Sometimes you have no idea. And other times it shows us exactly what we need to see. The cards seem completely out of order and random. But you keep turning them over... and the more cards you see, you get a sense how everything fits together.

You don´t destroy the person you love

"You didn´t love her. You just didn´t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn´t love her, because you don´t destroy the person that you love."

- Calliope Torres, Grey´s Anatomy

   

mistakes



It´s reason enough

At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

I Can't Wait !



"I can't wait to get out of the house. I can't wait to get out of here. I've been telling myself this all week. The 'getting out of here' part is unspecified, though. Maybe I simply want to get away from life"


― Carrie Bradshaw (Candace Bushnell) The Carrie Diaries

If a woman

"If a woman could take care of herself, would she still need a man? Would she even want one? And if she didn't want a man, what kind of woman would she be? Would she even be a woman? Because it seemed if you were a woman, the only thing you were really supposed to want was a man."
Carrie Bradshaw (Candace Bushnell), The Carrie Diaries

Some days you get to see things no one gets to see.

"A lot of people out there wonder why we do this job. It's true, some days are bad. We grope around in zero visibility, hoping we grab and arm or a leg & pull someone to safety. Sometimes we can search the entire room and come up empty. Then, you hear about the kid you missed under the bed. I don't care who you are, I don't care how many years you've been on this job. You think to yourself how did I miss that? How did I not reach a few feet further? Yes, there are days you want to pick up your helmet & chuck it in the lake. Some days you get to see things no one gets to see. A wife grateful you dragged her husband to safety, and every once in a while, you see a  baby take its first breath in a 10-car pile-up. These are the good days. You want to know what I'm thankful for? I'm thankful for because I have 2 families, and not too many people can say that."

~ Chicago fire

We all want life to have some kind of meaning

Happy alone

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.

~ Meredith Grey

 

Some wounds never heal...

"What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again."

- Meredith Grey

A blissful blank slate

There's a brief moment when you first wake up where you have no memories, a blissful blank slate, a happy emptiness,

but it doesn't last long and you remember exactly where you are and what you are trying to forget.
- Carrie Bradshaw, The Carrie Diaries

 

oh yes.

Time heals all wounds

"Geoffrey Chaucer wrote: "Time heals all wounds," but what he failed to mention was the scar those wounds leave behind. The painful things that happend to us permanently leave their mark. They don't necessarily hurt anymore but they are always there as a reminder. As a memory. And as time passes maybe the memory gets a little fussy. But we always have the scar to remind us it happend. That we lived through it. That we survived."

- Carrie Bradshaw in 'The Carrie Diaries'

http://25.media.tumblr.com/ff2031f99e6abc2e19eecd065a158416/tumblr_ml7acofFJR1s1r85ko1_500.gif

Direction, beauty, meaning.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m51nhlrOkO1rqyqtro1_500.gif

The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him.

It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them.

But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again...

And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart.

- Lucas Scott

Les mer i arkivet » Desember 2015 » November 2015 » April 2014
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